I've been wanting to write this post for ages, but I couldn't get it out. I got pregnant this time last year, so it's a good time to publish it, right?
Being pregnant was so surreal. The whole thing. I remember waking up on easter morning super early and had a feeling I was finally pregnant. I took a test but it was so so so light I shrugged it off and decided to not take another one for a few more days when my period was supposed to have shown up. We picked up a digital test so there would be no guessing, and I handed it to josh after I peed on it so he would know first. When he finally looked at it he ran around the room and finally came back and said, "there's a baby in there!" I know it's cliche but I instantly felt different.
Being pregnant is such a gift. I know its such a normal thing that it starts to seem like nothing, but it isn't nothing—your body is growing a freaking human. That is INSANE! And it drove me crazy to hear people complain so much about being pregnant. Yes, it can be uncomfortable. Yes, I threw up more in nine months than I have in my whole life. Sure, your body changes and it isn't always cute. Yes, you can't eat sushi or drink wine. But, complain about something I've been wanting my whole life? I seriously couldn't even fathom it.
So I was positive about it. Not forcefully, but if I was asked about it, I gave an honest answer about how much I enjoyed being pregnant. And I can't count how many comments, emails and in-person chats where people said things like, "it's so refreshing to hear someone talk positively about being pregnant." Why is that not the norm?
One of the main reasons I think it's important to approach this mindset during pregnancy (or even before) is because I think it sets you up for your birth. If you think getting stretch marks, uncomfortable sleep, swollen ankles, and whatever else is bad, where is your mind going to be when you're having painful contractions every few minutes? If you come from a place of gratitude throughout your pregnancy and you just roll with the punches—learning to love it knowing what it produces—then come labor, you are already in a place of confidence, gratitude and positivity which I think puts you in a good place for birth.
However, the more important reason I have a hard time stomaching the complaints is knowing how many women are heartbroken over infertility, and the trouble they're having getting pregnant. Or women who have lost babies. You have something they so desperately want and would give anything for, and showing anything but gratitude for the life inside you—no matter how uncomfortable—is really insensitive. To those women: You deserve apologies. And lots of them.
I'm a complainer to my core. It's something I've been trying to work on for years in every area of my life. So I know the temptation. I know it well. Whenever I would get "complaining thoughts" I tried to take them captive immediately and realize just how lucky I was to have a baby, alive, inside of me. More than worth every ache and pain, stretch mark and sleepless night.
I know this can be a controversial subject and people are entitled to complain about whatever they want—big or small—my hope is that you simply find this encouraging. Growing babies, birthing babies and raising babies is hard but staying positive and remaining thankful is so important.